Top 5 Ways to Overcome the Summertime Blues
Being single in the summer can be hard sometimes. Could it be that you just ended a relationship with someone and this is your first summer flying solo? Maybe you're not sporting those chiseled abs and biceps or the six-pack you'd fantasized about? Or perhaps your life isn't where you'd like it to be, unattained goals and wavering motivation getting you down. With all the hoopla that the summer season touts, these things can contribute to the "blah" feelings that signify the "Single Summertime Blues". Those afflicted with this condition can even feel depressed sometimes, harboring loads of negativity and defeat. Common reasons people often suffer from “summertime blues” are:
Body image insecurities – Common summertime activities such as going to the beach, playing outdoor sports, and wearing less clothing can be stressful due to body insecurities. Not only does this body-shaming leads to decreased self-esteem, it may also lead to increased loneliness and isolation.
Heat intolerance – People can find the high temperatures during summer to be oppressive. It can make you feel more irritable and agitated as a result of being uncomfortable. Some individuals feel more affected by the heat than others. This can cause people to stay indoors, which also may lead to increased feelings of isolation.
Disruption of routine – Perhaps you are returning home from school or you are on summer break, or have a change in seasonal working. Deviations from routines can negatively impact mental and physical health.
Changes in sleep schedule – The longer days and shorter nights cause disrupted sleep for many people. For those who are able to sleep, they may be feeling more moody, groggy, or “out of it”. For others, the increased exposure to light means tossing and turning or no sleep at all.
Remember that song "Ain't No Cure For the Summertime Blues”? It can certainly feel that way at times, While the fall and winter are all about having someone to cuddle with (or multiple someone’s, whatever floats your boat), the summer is the time to let loose, meet new people, and do what makes you happy. Everyone is different, and whether being single or being in a relationship makes you happy, that's totally up to you. But, if you're single, and you're surrounded by couples and people in healthy, happy relationships, it can be hard to remember that being single is awesome, especially during the summer.
5 Tips For Becoming A Successful Summertime Single
1. Nourish your mind, body, soul, and confidence.
We all need to take care of ourselves, but especially when you're stricken with the "blues", it's even more critical to engage in regular self-soothing and promote your own personal growth. Learn something new. Take a class. Visit a bookstore. Get a personal trainer and get on an exercise regimen. Eat nutritiously. Meditate and practice relaxation techniques. Keep a journal. Pursue a hobby. Get lost in music.
2. Plan ahead for love and for your future.
For optimal success, when you are single in the summer, it's important to develop a vision (a blueprint or vivid picture of what you want) for your future, for a life partner, and for a relationship. This will give you a path to measure where you're going and how you're doing along the way. It's important to identify your values, the things that would be most important for you in all those areas as this will define your mission. Then you can make conscious choices to make sure you're living with integrity, a key component of living a life with healthy self-esteem.
3. Become available and ready for the right person
This means making the most of being single by taking this time to resolve any unfinished business from the past to bring about closure, grieve any necessary losses, build confidence and a positive self-concept, and defeat negative thinking with more affirming, optimistic mindsets. Embrace your singlehood and stop measuring your self-worth on your dating status; see this as a valuable time to get things in order so no baggage carries over when "The One" arrives in your life.
4. Develop a dating action plan and skills toolbox.
Make a list of your non-negotiable needs that you have for a partner and relationship. What are things that you absolutely must have and absolutely cannot have in order to be in relationship with someone? This becomes your guidepost in screening dating prospects for potential compatibility. It will help you save a lot of time and frustration along the way. Additionally, start building your repertoire of skills in flirting, boundary-setting, screening, etc. to boost your sophistication and confidence.
5. Get out of your head!
When you've got the "blues", there's a tendency to become self-absorbed with your negative thoughts. Get out of your head and channel that energy into something more productive. Nothing works better than helping others. Volunteer for a worthy cause. Live your life to the max and do something that will give you more of a sense of meaning and passion. And take stock of all the strengths and positives that you have. You're a good person! Share the gifts that you have and you'll reap the benefits twofold!
So there you have it! This is just a starting point for the cure for the "summertime blues." The important thing is to start viewing your single status as an opportunity. Your life is what you make of it, as the old saying goes, and you have the power within yourself to make this the best summer of your life if you choose. You can convert the "summertime blues" into "summertime bliss!" This is your time. Who knows when you'll be single again? Take advantage of it, and make the most out of your summer.
By Julia McCurley for S’More
Julia McCurley is a Professional Matchmaker , Relationship Coach and CEO of Something More, Austin's premier Matchmaking service. After a successful career in the IT staffing business, she decided to take her headhunting skills and transfer them to be a headhunter for the heart. She has been creating happy couples in Austin since 2009 and has helped hundreds of singles on their journey to finding love. Julia has been featured multiple times in prominent media outlets such as ABC, NBC, CBS , and Fox TV affiliates. Her blogs have been published on the Huffington Post Good Men Project, She Knows, Emlovz, and The Dating Truth. She also just published her first book, Game Set Match: A Professional Matchmaker's Advice on How to Win At the Game Of Love.